Saving what can't be saved
by Skinky
Summary: Set two months after season 3 finale. Sam is hunting again, with a new companion, and they're determined to get Dean back and kill Lilith. Sam/OMC, kinda dark themes, rated M for sexual content, language, and violence in later chapters. On Break!
1. Into the Mix

Two months. Two grueling months had passed since Dean died. Two months since Sam had lost part of his identity; his soul. He'd lost his brother, the one person he couldn't live without. But he was forced to; too many people wouldn't let him go. Bobby was constantly checking in on him, giving him hunts to make sure he kept going. Jo and Ellen also kept in contact with him, trying to comfort him in any way possible and making sure he was ok.

How could he ok? His brother was dead. The man that practically raised him was dead, leaving him the last remaining Winchester. God, for the first month he'd been a suicidal mess. He'd cut himself for the first three days, hoping that the physical pain would make his emotional pain go away. Then he'd taken to thoughts of shooting himself, something quick and painless. A few times he'd even thought of just summoning Lilith and letting her kill him. Any way he could just end his misery seemed so sweet.

But Bobby, Ellen, and Jo weren't the only ones keeping him focused. About half a month after Dean died he met another hunter at a bar. Now granted, this hunter was being thrown out of a bar for being underage, but a hunter nonetheless. Sam had seen that he was a bit short on cash and offered him a place in his motel room for a night. Turns out Sam liked the kid more than he thought; his personality reminded him of Dean. That and he helped him finish an exorcism. So upon being asked, Sam let the kid stay with him. For a month and a half they'd been hunting together, stopping at Bobby's twice. The whole time they'd been hunting Sam had been searching for a way to get Dean's soul back.

--

It was a calm evening. No one in the whole state of South Dakota would have suspected what was happening at a small motel along the highway.

"I'll ask you once more. How do I get into Hell?" Sam's voice was rough, and he was in no mood for this demon's shit. He stared intently to the young woman who was possessed. The last few weeks he didn't care who he hurt, contrary to his old behavior. He looked over to his companion when the demon smiled. "Jesse, get ready to start chanting."

The younger man looked at him with an evil smirk, long chocolate hair hanging over his emerald eyes.

"Now Sam, we wouldn't be very nice hosts if we didn't offer our guest something to drink. What do you say we pour her up a nice wholesome glass of holy water?" Sam laughed coldly at the gesture.

"You know, that actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. Pour up a glass." He turned to the demon, who now seemed petrified. His gaze was harsh, and just staring at him made the demon shake.

"You- you couldn't dare." Sam didn't even try to hide the coldness in his voice.

"Try me. Now, that glass is almost full, so unless you want to be in your own hell I suggest you start talking." He continued to stare, even as Jesse handed him the full glass. Then he quickly reached into the devil's trap and grabbed the woman's mouth, forcing it open. The demon struggled with everything it had, but Sam's grip was strong. He slowly tilted the cup, until the water was almost dripping from the top, when the demon started to scream.

"OK! OK! I'll tell you what you want to know!" Sam's pupils dilated at the declaration, and he moved the glass a few inches away from the demon.

"Start speaking. And it all better be the truth, or I'm gonna make you wish you were back in Hell." He heard a short laugh and Jesse pulled a chair next to him, holding the bottle of holy water while Sam held the glass.

"What do you want to know?"

"How do I get to Hell and save my brother?" Jesse rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

"You mean how do _we_ get to Hell and save Dean."

"You're not going, it's too dangerous."

"Well too bad Sam. I've only been with you for a month, but you're the only family I have, so if you go to Hell I go too."

"Fine." Sam sighed loudly and returned his focus to the demon. "Now answer my question." The demon growled lowly and looked at both Sam and Jesse with disgust.

"The only way I know how to get to Hell is to open up the gate, but you've already done that, haven't you Sammy?"

"Shut up."

"Aww, did I strike a nerve?" It grinned amusedly, but it was quickly wiped away when it was hit with a splash of holy water. The demon hissed in pain and looked angrily at Jesse, who smiled rather smugly.

"When Samuel Winchester tells you to shut you mouth, you shut your mouth. Got it?" Sam couldn't help but smile at the order. It was just something about having someone respect him enough to order it from other people that made him smile. When he managed to get out of his happy moment he realized both the demon and Jesse were staring at him, Jesse's stare rather blank. "You let that go to your head, didn't you?"

"Little bit."

"Well make sure it doesn't happen again until after this exorcism." In an instant all of Sam's cheeriness had disappeared and he returned to his cold, torturous mind frame. He was staring at the demon, and it stared back, moving as close to the edge of the devil's trap as the ropes allowed.

"Now, I know there's another way to go to Hell without opening the gate, now tell me how." The demon stared at him as if he were an idiot.

"Well sorry to burst your bubble, but no. There's no other way to get into or out of Hell. Believe me, if there was I'd know it."

"You're lying."

"No." Sam could feel his anger building. He knew there was something this demon wasn't telling him and he was determined to find out, no matter what.

"There's something you're not telling us."

"What makes you think that?"

"You're a demon, that's what."

"Aww, Sammy, that one hurt." Sam responded by forcing her mouth open again. It screamed and squired as best as its host could, but his grip was too strong. He then slowly poured the holy water down its throat, and watched in delight as the demon screamed. A few minutes later it stopped and was looking down, breathing heavily and with pain. Sam looked indifferent to its suffering and turned to Jesse.

"Finish her off. I'm going to call Bobby." He got up and left as Jesse reached for John's journal. When he closed the motel room door he took only a few steps before pulling out his cell. He quickly dialed Bobby's number and waited the second it took fro bobby to answer.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Bobby, it's Sam."

_"Hey, what's up?"_

"We got that demon. Jesse should be finishing up as we speak. For a kid he knows his way around a hunt."

_"How old is he anyways?"_

"He turned 17 a few weeks ago."

_"How long has he been hunting?"_

"I think three years."

_"Sam, it's the middle of August. What are you gonna do when September rolls around? If he wants to he can stay with me for school."_

"I'm not sure, I'll have to ask him. So what's our next job?"

_"Your next job? Sam you two haven't stopped hunting in four weeks. You're not taking another job, you're coming to stay with me for a few days_._"_ Sam let out a frustrated sigh.

"Bobby, I really don't want to take a break. I just want to kill every one of those sons of bitches until Lilith is the only one left!"

_"And what happens if you get the kid killed, huh? You just gonna move on and hunt alone?" _Sam felt his guilt rising. He hadn't even thought of what Jesse wanted to do. He'd been pushing him so hard lately, driving him towards any lead that got them that much closer to either Lilith or Dean.

"You're right. I'll ask him what he wants to do later, but we'll come se you regardless. That ok?"

_"Yes, on the condition that you stay here for three days."_

"Why three days?"

_"because then Jesse can get a chance to pick at some cars. You know he was eyeing up the scrap yard the last time you guys stayed."_

"Ok then, we stay for three days."

_"Ok. See ya later Sam, and make sure you watch out for that kid."_

"See ya Bobby, and I will."

Sam turned off his phone and walked back into the motel room. He stepped in to the sight of Jesse untying the now limp woman. He looked up to Sam and frowned.

"She was already dead when the bitch possessed her, so should we bury her somewhere?" Sam looked at him blankly but he couldn't help but feel guilty for a teenager having to hunt, especially remembering his own teenage years.

"Jesse it's not a question of whether we should bury her or not, it's a question of where. If you're going to hunt that should become instinct." Jesse instantly looked down, his eyes showing shame.

"Sorry." Damn, Sam had to hand it to the kid. He knew how to pull guilt trips, even if he did only say sorry.

"It's ok. Now come on, we have a body to dispose of."

The next few hours passed quickly and soon both Sam and Jesse found themselves laying on their beds, both covered in dirt.

"Sam, I honestly didn't think burying people could be that much fun." Sam looked over and smiled.

"Well, normally the people doing the burying don't get into dirt fights and push each other into the ditch." Jesse laughed loudly and leaned to his side, facing Sam.

"Hey, I only pushed you once! And you shoveled that dirt into my hair! You don't know how hard it's gonna be to get all that shit out!"

Sam couldn't help but laugh. God, Jesse reminded him so much of Dean. They were both pretty slack, obsessed over their appearances, the same shade of green eyes, hell, they both liked cars. Well, Dean knew a lot about cars. Jesse knew next to nothing about them, but he loved to tinker with them… even if his tinkering did sometimes result in the engine blowing up. But Sam couldn't help but want to smile. Having Jesse there with him was almost like having Dean back. But even thinking that set Sam off into a spiral of depression. He almost wanted to cry when he thought about what Dean had given up by saving him, but Jesse's voice stopped his thought.

"Hey, earth to Sam. I'm gonna grab a shower before I go to bed." Sam looked at him blankly.

"Ok…" He noticed that Jesse was grinning, rather smugly too.

"What, you're not gonna join me? Sam, I'm hurt." He faked a pouting look and laughed as he locked the bathroom door, leaving Sam to his thoughts. He instantly started thinking of Dean and he could feel the darkness building in him, swallowing him. Dean was dead, and it was his fault. If he didn't let Jake stab him then Dean would never have made that deal… and then he wouldn't have died.

His thoughts continued until he heard the bathroom door open, and saw Jesse walking out wrapped in only a towel. Suddenly he could feel something in his head, and before he knew it he was looking over every inch of Jesse's body. He'd admired the boy's body before, but he'd never felt this way when he saw him. But he instantly shrugged off those thoughts and looked away when Jesse's voice echoed in his head.

"Sam? Sam, are you listening to me?" Sam forced himself to look Jesse in the eye, and he met a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"That's a no." Jesse rolled his eyes and flopped on his bed, still wrapped in the towel. "I was asking what our next job was."

"Actually I was thinking about a little vacation. What would you say to staying at Bobby's for a few days?" The teenager looked at him suspiciously.

"You'd be staying too, right? Because there's no way I'm leaving you alone again, not after what happened last time." The last time Jesse's left Sam for a few days, he returned to find Sam unconscious in the bathroom with blood running out of his wrists, and right now Sam didn't want to be reminded of that.

"Yeah, I'm going too. Bobby didn't really give me a choice; he's making us stay for three days."

"Awesome! I can pick up my hunting bow and my silver and iron arrows."

"Oh yeah, I didn't notice you never brought them with you. Why do you use a hunting bow anyway?"

"Because, my dad and I used to go hunting before he died. And he didn't believe in using guns to kill animals, so he used a bow instead. And he was a damn good shot too. When I was ten I started using one, and I've been using them ever since. Plus, bows are actually pretty powerful if you use them right."

"So your father was a big hunting man huh?"

"Yeah. He was actually the first person that found out I was gay."

Sam had never thought about Jesse's preference before, but as his nature he had to press.

"So how'd he take it?"

"Pretty good actually. He was pretty supportive, but was very strict about the guys I dated. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for a 13 year old to pick up guys with a strict father? I'm mean, I'm still a friggin virgin for Christ sakes!" Sam couldn't help but laugh at the confession, which seemed to agitate the teen. "Hey don't laugh! When you can't get into bars it's kinda hard to get laid!"

"What, you can't fake your age?"

"Sam, I have a thin build. I'll pretty much always look like a skinny 16 year old, and that really sucks." Sam could hear the annoyance in Jesse's voice, and he had to say something.

"Well I think you're pretty good looking." Sam froze when he realized what he said. Without a word he rushed up and ran into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. What did he just say? He was barely paying attention as he turned on the shower and took off his clothes.

_Did I just say that Jesse was good looking? Why the hell did I say that? I mean I'm not gay… I don't think I am anyways. But when he did step back into the room I kind of was checking him out… no! I can't think like that! I mean I have no problem with gay people or anything, but he's underage! That and he's kind of like a little brother to me now, even if I have only known his for less than two months. _

As he thought Sam failed to noticed that he was completely hard as the hot water sprayed over him. When he did look down though he sighed.

"Great," he said, knowing Jesse wouldn't hear him over the water. "I'm hard for my 17 year old hunting partner who also happens to be a guy… just great."

--

The next day rolled around quickly and neither said a word as they loaded up the Impala. Neither could think of anything to say, they were both kind of stunned from the previous night. Sam prayed that the two hours would go by quickly… they didn't. Both looked forward for most of the trip, but when they were about ten minutes from Bobby's Jesse couldn't help but speak.

"So… did you mean it, or were you just being nice?" Sam could have killed him at that moment. Why couldn't he have just avoided conversation for the last ten minutes?

"Umm… I honestly don't know."

"Oh. Ok." It didn't take a genius to tell Jesse was kind of hurt, and Sam instantly felt bad. He'd never done anything with a guy, or even thought about doing anything with a guy, and last night he'd found himself checking out a teenager. God, if Dean was here he would have laughed at him.

"Jess, I'm sorry if I confused you or anything, it's just that I've never thought about doing anything with a guy before, and last night when you got out of the shower I may have been checking you out, and I'm just kinda confused about the whole thing."

"It's ok Sam, I get it, I really do. When I first realized I was gay I went through the exact same thing. Now I'm not saying you are gay or anything, just that I know how you feel right now. So if you think I'm disappointed or anything, I'm not. Really."

Sam slowed down a bit and looked over, meeting the boy's grin.

"How the hell are you more mature than me?" Jesse couldn't help but laugh.

"Because I'm perfect, that's why. Now watch the road, I don't want to die five minutes from that scrap yard." Sam couldn't help but smile, and when Jesse smiled back he felt something weird in his stomach. When they finally pulled into Bobby's place he sighed in relief. Finally, he could sleep on something fit to be called a bed, and eat food fit to be called food. He was greeted by Bobby's smile and hugged the older man.

"Hey Bobby, it's good to see you."

"It's nice to see you too Sam." He let go of Sam and turned towards the kid, who was staring at the scrap yard as he put his ipod headphones in his ears. When he noticed Bobby was staring at him he turned and blinked once.

"Bobby, get my bow for me. I'm gonna go shoot a few cars." And with that he walked around the house and disappeared behind it. Sam couldn't help but laugh as Bobby watched the kid walk, a stern look in his eyes.

"Well glad to know he has manners. If he wasn't with you I'd have probably hit the little brat by now."

"Oh come on, he's great once you get to know him."

"Sam every time he sees me he orders me around like I'm some kind of servant!"

"Bobby he's a kid, he's obviously going to take anyone doing something for him whenever he can. And besides, he's been alone for almost three years, I'd lose my manners after that long being alone too." Bobby sighed and turned toward the house.

"Sam, you better be right." He quickly turned to Sam and pointed toward the house. "Now, let's go get a beer or two and talk about some things."

--

**Author's Note:** Well, that's the first chapter; it actually took me over two weeks to get it finished so I'm kind of glad right now (it's like 1:30 in the morning). Anyway, that's just the introductory chapter, and I thought I'd introduce you to Jesse. Actually I think I kind of over did his introduction a little bit, but I'm tired so I won't bother changing anything.

Well, reviews are loved, and feedback does inspire me to write quicker! Anyway, until next chapter, bye!

**Jae**


	2. How do we deal

Sam and Bobby watched in intrigue from the kitchen as Jesse lined up his bow with the target, roughly 30 feet away. Sam couldn't help but snicker.

"Hey Bobby, ten bucks says he hits it dead center." Bobby laughed loudly and slammed a ten on the table, as did Sam.

"No way. He might know how to use that thing, but he doesn't have the right build to stabilize the arrow from 30 feet."

Sam looked at the older man in awe.

"And how would you know that?" Bobby smiled smugly at him; there were things about him Sam didn't know.

"Before I started hunting the supernatural I used to hunt for sport. And I'll tell you right now, I wasn't bad with a bow." He was going to continue but Sam pointed to the window and both looked attentively. Jesse was pulling the arrow back, making sure he got all the power out of this shot that he could. When he let go the arrow flew through the air, and two seconds later hit the target dead center, just as Sam had predicted. Bobby looked at him, pure shock on his face. "How the hell did you know he was gonna make that shot?"

Sam let a rather large grin form on his face. "Because, I've seen him shoot it from 50." Sam looked out the window and saw Jesse staring at him, smiling widely. Sam couldn't help but smile back and when Jesse blushed he laughed. This caught Bobby's attention and he looked at Sam sternly.

"Sam, there something going on between you two I should know about?" Sam almost spit his beer everywhere when he heard Bobby. He looked over to the older man, almost embarrassed.

"Bobby, he's _17_! No there's nothing going on!" Bobby gave him a doubtful look and took a mouthful of beer.

"Sam, if there is anything going on I won't get mad, as long as you're not just using him." Now Sam was turning seven shades of red.

"Bobby! I'm not sleeping with him! I swear!" Bobby was almost roaring with laughter.

"Ok, Sam, relax, I believe you." Sam was piping mad, and when Jesse walked in and took a seat next to him he didn't make things better.

"Hey hot stuff. Hey Bobby," Bobby let his head fall as he roared with laughter. Sam was absolutely red and turned to Jesse, and as much as he wanted to be mad he started laughing himself. Unfortunately, Jesse was completely oblivious to what they were talking about. "What? What did I say?" Bobby had to save the kid from the confusion.

"Nothing kid, nothing. Say, I was actually going to talk to you about something serious." Sam and Jesse gave a unanimous 'oh god' and Bobby grunted. "Anyway, I was wondering what you were going to do when school started."

Jesse looked as though he were sitting with a couple of infants.

"School? Bobby I graduated early when I was 15." Sam and bobby both looked shocked, and Sam actually spit beer over the older man. Bobby, choosing to ignore this, just stared wide-eyed at Jesse.

"You graduated? Jesus, how'd you pull that off?" The kid looked down, and Bobby knew this was a time to pry. "Jesse, did you do anything illegal to graduate?!"

"No!" his response was immediate and defensive. "At least I don't think it was illegal. I'm pretty sure it doesn't count as illegal, but I don't think there were any rules about what I did." Now Sam was getting intrigued.

"What'd you do?"

"I… I umm… I kinda summoned a demon and used his powers to see what was going to be on tests, so that when I took the test I'd have all the answers. And naturally the teachers thought I was a genius, so I was put ahead." He told the story like it was completely casual, like every teenager did that. Sam honestly didn't know what to say, he was just in shock. Suddenly his head was overflowing with questions.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I don't know, I thought it'd be fun."

"Did you have to make a deal?"

"No."

"Are you sure you could control it?"

"Yes."

"How'd you summon it?"

"Used its seal."

"Did it want anything in return?"

"…" Now Jesse was quiet, and Sam knew that the answer was yes.

"Jesse… what did it want?" Jesse looked up; knowing Sam wouldn't let this go. He never let any topic that may be important go. God, Jesse hated that, but he couldn't help but love that Sam cared about him. Maybe he did have a chance.

"Umm… that's the weird thing. This guy was so powerful, hell even I could feel it, and he didn't want _me_ to give _him_ anything. He just wanted me to swallow a few drops of his blood, that was it."

Sam's eyes shot open and he looked to Bobby, whose reaction was similar.

"Jesse please tell me you didn't drink it!"

"No I didn't drink it! Are you sick?! God knows what kinds of diseases a demon has!" Sam nearly died. Thank god this kid was smart. The last thing he needed was another psychic kid round up. He was going to laugh in relief, but a strange look on Jesse's face told him the kid wasn't done yet. "And I didn't drink any because I was born with psychic abilities. They run in my family for generations, and each generation is gradually more powerful."

Sam was starting to get frustrated with Jesse, and all could tell from his tired sigh.

"And what kind of powers run in your family? Please say it's just something like reading minds or seeing auras or something calm like that." When Jesse laughed nervously he could have killed him.

"Well… they used to be calm."

"What powers do you have?"

"I'm not really sure anymore. I haven't used them since I was 13… when I got them." His voice dropped when he said those last few words, and something in Sam told him he'd done something.

"Jesse what happened with your powers? Did you lose control?" Even Bobby could notice that the kid was near tears at this point.

"I… I umm…" Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he struggled to get the words out. "I lost control one day… and I killed them. Doctors and police couldn't find any explanation for why two bodies were burned to cinders, or why their thirteen year old kid was spared, along with everyone else in the house. That was one of my powers; pyrokinesis, the ability to manipulate and generate flames. My mom… she could see the future and from time to time shock people. I can remember now, people that knew our family history would call my mom and me freaks, that other children could stay away from me." Now the moment was officially awkward. Neither Sam nor Bobby was sure of what they should say. Jesse'd been through so much, and now Sam was pushing him with hunts. Sam was about to say something, but Bobby beat him to it.

"Well you got us now, kid. And trust me, there's nothing wrong with being a psychic." He turned to Sam, with a look that said '_tell him_'. "Right Sam?" Jesse looked up to Sam curiously.

"Sam, you're not psychic too, are you? I didn't detect anything from you to suggest otherwise."

"No, I'm not… anymore. When I was six months old a demon dropped blood into my mouth and gave me psychic powers. Dean and I managed to kill him a while ago, and I haven't had my powers since. But Ruby told me they were just dormant." Now it was Sam's turn to brood. "She also said they were the only way to save Dean…" Before either could say anything though he got out of his chair. "I'm gonna go out for a while, I'll be back later."

As he headed for the Impala, Sam could hear Jesse and Bobby talking. Probably just wondering how drunk he was going to be when he got back. Since dean died Sam did a lot of drinking. His way of preserving Dean's memory, as he put it. But he couldn't fool himself. His drinking was only a way for him to escape reality, a way for him to not care anymore.

Sam had to laugh as he drove down the road. He'd be getting the biggest lecture possible from a 17 year old. He couldn't believe how mature that kid was. He reminded Sam of himself at times, what with the way he always had a lecture ready or how he was actually able to pour his heart out. But he was so different too, and Sam had to admire that. Sam and Dean generally liked to be prepared for a fight, but Jesse would rush in without knowing a damn thing. Sam had to laugh at that. The poor kid had almost gotten himself killed a few times doing that. But as Sam continued to think about him, his thoughts started to center around if he really did find Jesse attractive.

_Why do I find him attractive? Why do I think I'm falling for a freakin' 17 year old? Now I have no problem that he's a guy, but he's 17! He's off limits! And for arguments sake, let's say we did start a relationship. We'd have to hide it for almost a year until he turned 18, and even then people would ask questions to why an 18 year old was with a 25 year old. But… I guess he isn't bad looking. He wouldn't have given me that hard on if he wasn't. Oh boy Sam, you got some things to sort out._

_­_-

Before he knew it the whole day, evening, and some of the night had passed. Sam stumbled into the taxi; the bartender wouldn't let him drive in his state. He'd been thinking about Dean, Jesse, and Lilith the whole night. At first, when he was thinking about Dean, he was in hell. He'd cried twice (with the comfort of a few busty blondes) and almost considered getting into a fight just so someone would kill him. Then he started to think about Jesse, and a bout of confusion followed. But then, as he readied to leave, he started to think about Lilith, and that immediately pissed him off.

When the cab driver stopped at Bobby's place Sam klutzily got out of the car and stumbled to the front door. He quietly opened it and walked in, chuckling as to how sneaky he thought he was (in reality he was making a world of noise). He quickly fell on Bobby's couch, but when he heard the shower running he had to get up and see who was interrupting his quiet time. Luckily for him though, whoever was in the shower couldn't hear his stumbling, stomping, and trudging through the house. When he reached the bathroom he slowly opened the door, and what he saw shocked him more than anything he'd ever seen… including walking in on Dean having sex once. Jesse was in the shower, and the idiot had forgotten to pull over the curtain. In his drunken, angry state Sam could only assume he was waiting for Sam. Sam was in awe; if there was any doubt over whether or not he was attracted to Jesse they were all gone now. He watched as the boy scrubbed himself, the soap sliding off easily in the hot water. Sam swallowed nervously and backed away. God, he wanted to touch that body right now, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to get it. Besides, Jesse was gay; he'd like it.

Sam waited patiently outside the bathroom, hidden by a corner, and when he heard the water stop he sighed. Soon, he thought, soon he'd be able to have some fun. When he saw Jesse walking out in a towel he almost jumped. He quietly followed the teen into his room, and apparently Jesse hadn't noticed him. Sam watched in delight as the towel was discarded, and when Jesse did turn around Sam made his move. He pushed him onto the bed, quickly pinning his hands down. The younger man struggled to get free, but kept his voice low.

"Sam?! Get off me! Sam I mean it!" Sam, even in his drunken state, moved Jesse's arms together and managed to clasp both wrists with one of his hands. He used the other to unzip his jeans and he got rid of them as fast as possible. "Sam, I swear if you don't get off me now I'll scream as loud as I can!" After getting rid of his boxers, Sam positioned himself, spreading Jesse's legs and lifting him slightly. He used a hand to steady himself and roughly pushed into the boy. Jesse's mouth flew open to scream, but Sam covered his mouth with his now free hand. When he was all the way in, Sam let himself fall slightly, already panting.

"Jesus… so tight!" He started to move out, and he could see Jesse sobbing, tears streaming down his face. "Come on Jess, don't cry. Somebody that feels as good as you do shouldn't cry."

He started to push into Jesse's ass in rough, slow thrusts. God, he felt so damn good, Sam couldn't stop himself from speeding up. He knew Jesse was crying, and hurting, but he couldn't care; this was all want, all need. As he sped up he could feel the boy's body shaking in pain; he was probably bleeding too. Sam gradually started pushing into him harder. "God Jesse, you feel so fucking good!" He went on pushing for 15 minutes, and he was soon going to climax. His thrusts were more forceful than ever, and upon looking he noticed that Jesse had fallen unconscious. Soon Sam could feel the heat building, and he came hard, still inside the kid. Falling from his sexual high, he pulled out and moved next to Jesse, shifting them both so Sam's body was cradling Jesse. He quickly fell asleep, his drunken state clouding his dreams.

-

Sam slowly drifted out of his dreams, but the second he was conscious he could feel his head throbbing. How much did he have to drink? When did he get home? And most importantly, why was he naked? He tried to think as he opened his eyes, the light from the window sent him into another spiral of pain. Damn, his head hurt! He shifted slightly to move out of the light and when he felt another body he stopped. As far as he remembered he didn't sleep with anyone lest night… did he? He moved the blankets and his throbbing skull became the least of his problems. Suddenly the events of the previous night came rushing back to him and he jumped back, realizing that he'd raped Jesse the night before.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God! No, this can't be happening! Please tell me I'm still drunk right now and this is just a hallucination! No, no, no, no, no! What the hell is wrong with me?! Why would I rape someone? I honestly didn't think I had it in me. And damn, why did I have to rape him? He's just a kid for Christ sake, he didn't deserve that… I'm a monster. I'm a cold, heartless son of a bitch, and now I've probably lost him too. Dammit! Why the hell do I keep doing things to lose people I care about? Who the fuck did I kill in a past life to deserve this?! God Jesse, I am so sorry. And the worst part I that I don't know how to make this better…_

Sam carefully got out of bed and found his clothes, scattered around the room. He was almost in tears when he pulled on his jeans. How could he have done something like this? That question repeated in his head over and over as he made his way to the kitchen. When he got there Bobby greeted him with a smile.

"Morning Sam." Sam didn't bother responding. He simply sat down and reached for the coffee and a mug. He silently poured himself a cup and stared down at the table. Bobby was giving him the strangest look, and Sam wasn't even paying attention. "Sam? Earth to Sam, hello?" Bobby waved his hand in fro not Sam and that managed to snap him back into attention. He looked over to Bobby with a confused, guilty look, and Bobby could only assume it was one thing. "That must be one bad hangover to get those looks from you."

Sam could only nod and fake a laugh. "Yeah." Honestly he couldn't feel his hangover anymore; either that or he was just so focused on the fact that he'd raped Jesse that he didn't notice. He barely noticed when Bobby started speaking again.

"Oh, morning kid." Sam's eyes shot open and he turned around to find Jesse staring him in the eye. He could see the hurt from far away and it just made him feel that much worse. Hell, the kid was even shaking slightly and it cut into Sam that he was the cause of that pain. But the real shocker came when Jesse slowly walked over to the table and sat next to Sam. He silently poured himself a cup of coffee, just as Sam did, and Bobby couldn't help but notice that both were incredibly silent and distracted. "Ok, what's wrong with you two? Both of you just came into the kitchen and sat, but at least Sam spoke. Now spill both of you, before I pin you both down and make you tell me."

Both Sam and Jesse were taking mouthfuls of coffee when Bobby spoke, and both spit it everywhere. Now the bad part is they spit their coffee over Bobby, and he was none too pleased.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up, and then the three of us are having a nice long chat." The older man wiped coffee from his face before getting out of his chair and heading for the bathroom. When he was out of sight Sam looked over to Jesse to see that the teen was looking down into his coffee mug. He knew it was making Jesse uncomfortable for him to be here so he quickly thought of a way to give him some space.

"Umm, I'm gonna go for a walk. Tell Bobby I'll be back later." He got out of his chair to leave, but Jesse's voice stopped him.

"Sam, please don't go." Sam turned back and Jesse was staring at him, looking as though he were going to break down at any moment.

"Jesse…"

"No Sam, please. _We_ have to talk." Now Sam was almost crying. Why did Jesse want to talk? Why didn't he want to just run as far away from Sam as he could? Sam sat back down and turned his chair so he was facing Jesse.

"Jesse, I am so sorry."

"Sam, please stop. Just let me tell you something first, that might shed some light on why I'm not hiding from you."

"Ok."

"Sam I lied to you when I said my father was strict about guys. Honestly, I was a skinny geek all my life. And when my parents died I just got worse because of my subtle cheating. And I'm not mad because you're the first person that actually wanted me."

"But Jesse, what I did to you… you're supposed to be mad at me, you're supposed to want to get away from me. And you're not because I'm the first person that really wanted you?"

"I know I'm supposed to hate you, ok!" Jesse was now trembling, a fist clenched tightly. "But you're the first person in a long time who gives a damn about me Sam, and I can't just ignore that! And besides that, I care about you as more than a friend. I can't ignore my feelings for you even over something like this."

"Jesus, Jesse! I forced you into sex! You shouldn't be defending me! I should be in fucking jail for Christ sakes!"

"Sam I don't want you to go to jail! I want to stay with you! How the hell can you not see that?!" God, Sam couldn't even tell what he was feeling anymore; everything was so… so screwed up.

"Dammit Jesse, we couldn't be together if we wanted to! You're 17 years old and I'm 25!"

"I know that! I really do! But if you like me and I like you then why the hell aren't we together?"

"Because I raped you Jesse! I pinned you down and fucked you against your will! You can't start a relationship based on that! It just doesn't work!"

A stubborn silence followed, and both stared teary eyed at one another. When they heard a noise coming from across the room they both turned, each sporting a panicked look. Little did they know, they were yelling throughout their conversation, and Bobby was standing in the doorway, looking furiously at Sam.

"Sam, I think you should get your things and leave."

-

**Author's note:** Well, that chapter took a while to write. I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been doing finals all week, and studying has not left a lot of time for writing. But hopefully in summer I'll have plenty of time for it, I hope anyways.

Anyway, that chapter's finished, and as my usual, it's filled with drama. Well I've got to keep this short, so feedback is loved. Be sure to leave a review and tell me what you think, that's how I improve. Until next chapter, bye!

**Jae**


	3. A Fateful Reunion

Two weeks had passed since Sam had been thrown out of Bobby's place. He hadn't seen Jesse since, and his guilt was eating away at him. He hadn't spoken to Bobby either, and he assumed the older man was keeping Jesse at his house, and knowing the kid like Sam did, he probably hated that. But Sam found ways to keep himself from thinking about his mistakes; he looked for any leads he could on getting Dean out of Hell. He'd found a few leads from some psychics, but they turned out to be busts. It seemed that no matter what he did or where he looked there was no way to get Dean out of the pit, and it just made him feel worse that his brother was only there because of him. God, even as he lay on his motel bed he could have sworn he could hear Dean screaming for help. But a phone call quickly forced him to suppress his thoughts.

"Hello?" he asked cautiously.

"Sam, where is he?" Bobby's voice asked sternly.

"Bobby, what are you talking about?" Sam replied with bitter honesty.

"Sam, the kid, where the hell is he?!"

"How the hell should I know?" Sam almost screamed into the phone. "I haven't seen him in two weeks!"

"Sam, you better not be lying to me!"

"How could I have seen him?"

"He ran away a few days ago, and I'm pretty sure he's trying to find you."

"So? Bobby if he wants to find me let him, you're not his father."

"Sam, I don't want him anywhere near you after what you did. Who's to say you won't do it again?"

That touched Sam's last nerve. He let a small growl out of the back of his throat and closed his phone, giving it a toss to his bed. He soon followed, laying down on the bed and letting out a heavy sigh. He really had no right to hang up on Bobby; the older man was right. Sam did rape Jesse, and he shouldn't be anywhere near Sam, but another part of him wanted the kid to come to him, wanted someone to be able to talk to, to make him happy.

Happiness. That word wouldn't stop going through his head. When Dean died he was a wreck, happiness was the farthest thing from how he felt. Not even Bobby, Ellen, or Jo could cheer him up the slightest bit. But when he met Jesse something changed. The way the kid acted, the way he made sure you couldn't stay mad at him, it helped him feel even the slightest bit of happiness. But all it took to ruin that was one night, a few too many drinks, and some bad memories. He never thought he'd be the one to take away all his own joy. It was his fault Dean was gone, and now he'd driven Jesse off too. Hell it was even his fault Jess and Mary died. If he wasn't chosen by the yellow eyed demon then none of the people in his life would be dead. He'd probably be still in Stanford getting his graduate degree in law, be married to Jess, have kids, the whole apple pie thing. But then he probably wouldn't know Bobby, Ellen, Jo, none of the people that he cared about.

His thoughts would have gotten even darker if not for the knock at the door. He sat up on the bed and reached for the knife he had lying on the table. He gripped it tight and carefully stepped toward the door, not making a sound. He looked through the tiny hole to see who it was but he couldn't see anybody. He slowly and steadily reached for the knob, and opened the door just slow enough so that it didn't make any noise. But what he didn't count on was the door pushing toward him as fast as it did. Sam jumped back in shock, and put the knife in front of him, but when he was who was running at him he threw it to the side. Jesse crashed into his arms, and he'd honestly never been so happy to see the younger man in his life. He wrapped his arms around him and fell to the floor from the impact. He was about to say hello when he could hear soft sobs coming from Jesse.

"You ok?" he asked, concern high in his voice. A few seconds passed and he didn't get an answer, but when he moved to see Jesse's face the kids moved first and pushed his lips against Sam's. Sam's first instincts were to push him away and give him the whole 'I raped you' lecture, but something inside stopped him. He was soon kissing back, craving the warm lips that were assaulting his own. Subconsciously his hands started to move to Jesse's hips, and they moved under his shirt just the slightest bit, but Sam quickly reclaimed his sense and gently pushed the teen away instead of giving in. When he could finally see his face, he could see that Jesse was grinning wickedly.

"Hey," the younger man said between breaths.

"Hi," was all Sam could manage, seeing as how he was just as out of breath from hitting the floor. He managed to get up with a bit of help from Jesse, and the first thing he did was walk over and close the possibly broken door. When that was done he looked over and saw Jesse sitting in the bed, simply staring at him. He walked over and sat next to him, but the second he started moving he started getting flashbacks of the event that got them separated in the first place. Sam quickly moved back and had a panicked look no his face.

"Jesse, why didn't you just stay with Bobby?" he asked, still breathing heavily.

"Because," Jesse replied stubbornly. "He kept me locked up in the house all the time, and he wouldn't even let me call you. Hell, I could barely get any privacy in the bathroom, he kept checking up on me to make sure I wasn't cutting myself or some shit like that."

Sam's eyes shot open at the mention of cutting. Did Jesse cut himself after what happened? Was he still cutting himself? Apparently the kid knew exactly what Sam was thinking.

"No Sam, I wasn't cutting myself, nor am I now," he dragged out. "I'm not that stupid. Now I hope you've been keeping your wrists in one piece…"

A smile started to form on Sam's face. Sam hadn't cut himself since the last time Jesse caught him. He'd promised him that he'd try to keep it together until they found Dean. Then it occurred to Sam that they hadn't actually discussed what they were going to do once they got Dean back. Was Jesse going to leave, or would Dean let him stay? Well, no better time to sort it out like the present.

"Umm, Jesse," he said cautiously, "what exactly are you gonna do when we find Dean?"

"What do you mean?" was the teenager's response.

"Are you gonna stay with us, or…"

"Oh," Jesse said with slight dread. "That. Umm, well I figured that I might as well help you hunt down that little bitch Lilith if it's alright with you."

Sam let out a relieved sigh. At least the kid wasn't gonna go on his own and do something stupid; at least Sam could keep an eye on him. He was going to talk again, but Jesse cut him off.

"Sam I'll be back in a minute, I wanna get something outta the back of the Impala."

"What's in the back of the Impala?" Sam asked.

"Oh, when I found you I kinda just put my things in the trunk, you know, I wasn't exactly planning on just stopping for a visit. Anyway I'll be back in a minute."

Sam watched as Jesse ran out the door to the Impala, only a few feet away, elbowed the trunk open, took out his bow, but the second he turned around he was lifted slightly into the air and held in place. Panic struck Sam and he ran out the door, knowing it was a demon. He looked across the dark lot and saw a young, dark haired girl holding her hand out, and when she heard him she looked at Sam.

"There you are," she sighed, "do you have any idea how hard you are to track down?" Her eyes suddenly faded to a dead white, and Sam knew right away who it was.

"Lilith," he said with a freak stricken voice. "How'd you find me?"

"Oh believe me, it wasn't easy, especially with that dumb blonde switching bodies every five minutes and throwing me off."

Blonde? No, it couldn't be, could it?

"So you didn't kill Ruby?" am asked with a wicked grin, but he knew it wasn't a question. The little girl made an angry face and tightened her telekinetic grip on Jesse.

"Don't mock me Sammy, it might get your friend killed," Lilith said in a sadistic tone. "Who knows, maybe my puppies will use him as a chew toy…"

"Let him go you twisted little psycho!" Sam shot back. "I'm the one you want, not him." Lilith laughed at the plea.

"Oh on the contrary Sam, Jesse here owes me something, don't you brat?" all eyes shifted to Jesse, who looked angrier than Sam. When she noticed the confused look on Sam's face, she turned back to him. "You see Sammy, I'm the demon that Jesse used to get his brains, and the extra muscle he got a few days ago. But for some reason I haven't been able to claim his soul for any amount of time." She shifted her gaze back to Jesse. "How'd you do it?"

"Hehehe," Jesse laughed as the grip tightened. "Like I'm telling you how I ripped you off, you stupid bitch. If you're as powerful as you think you are, you should just be able to take my soul now. So go right ahead and do it."

Sam heard a low growl coming from Lilith. How did Jesse con her into a deal? And why couldn't she take his soul like she did Dean's?

"Jesse, did you really con her?" he asked, almost forgetting the fact that she was about 20 feet away from him.

"Yeah," Jesse replied weakly. He then turned his gaze to Lilith, but all eyes looked behind her when a voice echoed.

"What's the matter Lilith, can't kill a few psychics?" the voice said, and Sam could tell it was female, but that was about it. Lilith turned around, an evil grin growing on her face.

"Why Ruby," she said with delight, "how nice of you to join us. Now I can kill all three of you at once instead of wasting time tracking you down."

"Sorry bitch," Ruby stated, almost black hair blowing in the wind. "You're the only one here that's gonna die." Then Ruby used her powers to send Lilith flying, releasing Jesse from her grip. Sam rushed to his aid and helped him up when he realized what had happened, and they were greeted by Ruby when Jesse was up.

"Hey Sam," she said with a smirk. "Long time no see. Who's the brat?"

Jesse got his bow out of his bag and readied an arrow, aiming directly at Ruby. "Why the hell did you help us, demon?! What's in it for you?" He asked quickly. Sam put his hand in front of the bow and pushed it down.

"Jesse its ok," he explained. "This is Ruby; she helped me and Dean out last year when Lilith was after us. You can trust her." Jesse gave her a dirty look, and noticed she was giving him a strange look of her own.

"What?" he asked with annoyance.

"You're a Lockhart, aren't you?" she asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

Before Jesse could answer, all three could hear a grunt and looked over to see Lilith standing upright, staring hatefully at all three. Ruby looked at Sam and handed him her knife, the same knife that could kill any demon, and he smirked. Lilith raised her hand and just as a light started pouring out of it Sam ran at her, knife in hand. She made the light stronger, but it was no use; Sam was still immune to it. But just as he was going to stab her and end the struggle she let out a loud scream and Sam jumped back in shock. He watched angrily as she left her host body and flew off into the night as a smoke.

Sam was just about to run after her when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked back and saw Ruby giving him a demeaning look.

"Sam, let her go," she reasoned. "consider yourself lucky she didn't actually kill all of us."

"Ruby," he argued, "how can you tell me to let her go when you know what she did to Dean?! He's in Hell because of that little bitch and if I ever get the chance to kill her, no matter how powerful she is, I'll do it." Sam would have gone on but Jesse cut him off.

"Sam, listen to her," the teen said tiredly. "I could sense her power, and there's no way we could have killed her that time, or even now. Hell, I'm willing to bet she was just toying with us that time, probably just getting a measure of how ready we were."

Sam really didn't want to hear this now. He moved out of Ruby's grip and walked stubbornly toward the room, ignoring the two people quietly following him. When he got into the room he waited until both Jesse and Ruby were in the room, and then he let Jesse have it.

"What the hell was she talking about Jesse?!" he yelled. The teen was giving him an equally stubborn look.

"Sam, I'm not getting into this now!" Jesse shot back.

"Oh yes we are!" Sam said sternly. "What did she mean when she said you made a deal with _her_?!"

"She meant that she was the demon I got my cheats in school from, and she's the demon I used a few days to make myself stronger physically!"

Sam went into a rage. Within seconds he had Jesse pinned to the wall, holding him up by the shirt. He ignored the fear in the teen's eyes as his mind filled with questions. Maybe he was lying about his family powers; maybe she's given them to him? What if he was working with her? What if he was telling her everything he knew about Sam and winning over his trust so he could stab him in the back later? More questions flooded his mind, so many that he didn't even notice that the man in his grip and Ruby were screaming at him.

"Sam, let him down!" Ruby yelled. Sam looked over to her stubbornly, and then looked back to Jesse. His heart almost shattered when he saw the look of fear in the younger man's eyes. He instantly let go of him, and watched in terror as the teen stumbled to the other side of the room.

"Jesse," he tried, but as he stepped Jesse just moved farther away. "Jesse please, I'm sorry. I just lost control when you mentioned that you made a deal with Lilith. Jesse you have to believe me when I say I'm sorry. You know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you."

Sam looked hopefully as Jesse slowly got to his feet and walked a little closer to him, each step more cautious than the other. What he didn't expect though was for the teen to embrace him in a hug.

"M'sorry," Jesse muttered. "I just wanted to get back to you."

Sam wrapped his arms around him gently and rocked slightly. "It's ok Jess," he said, "I'm not mad at you. It's just whenever I hear about Lilith I get so damn mad."

Suddenly both were interrupted when Ruby cleared her throat.

"Alright you two, can the girl stuff for later," she said coldly. "Right now Sammy and me have to catch up."

---

"And you know the rest, seeing as how you showed up." Sam finished. For the last hour and a half he'd been filling her in on everything that happened since that night in New Harmony. Ruby gave him a peculiar look before she turned to face Jesse.

"Kid," she said with a slight chuckle, "You got balls for staying with him after he raped you. Either that or you're just really stupid."

"Jesse didn't say anything, just stared at her strangely. Even Sam noticed it, and he had to draw attention to it.

"Umm, Jess?" he asked slowly, "Why are you staring at Ruby?"

"Because," the younger man answered in monotone. "I'm trying to figure out why a demon would want to help humans kill other demons." Ruby shot him a dirty look and Sam figured he'd stop them before they got into a fight.

"She's just a friend," he answered simply, "and that's that. Now, it's late, so I have to go get you a room. Do you want one too Ruby?"

Ruby scoffed loudly. "Yeah right," she said in slight disgust. "Like I'm staying in that rat-hole. I'll drop by tomorrow and we'll figure out what we're gonna do about Lilith." And with that she got up and left, telekinetically shutting the door behind her. Sam looked over to Jesse awkwardly.

"Umm," he started, "I guess I should go get you your room now." He got up and walked out of the room. When he returned he handed Jesse a key and watched as the teen walked away in silence. Sam didn't blame him. First he was raped, then he was nearly killed… both times by the same person; the person who was his only family and probably best friend. Sam sighed heavily as he turned off the light and stripped down to his boxers, sliding into bed and relaxing his body. Sleep caught him quickly as he drifted off.

---

_Sam looked around as the scene in New Harmony replayed in his dreams. Dean lay bloody and lifeless on the floor, Ruby's blonde host the same, and Sam felt himself spiraling into chaos. He ran over to Dean's body and held it up gently, tears running down his face as he looked on the dead face of his brother. Suddenly he heard Dean cough, and looked hopefully at the corpse. What he saw though almost made him sick. Dean was staring up at him, a look of pure hatred, and his eyes were coal black._

_"What's the matter Sammy," Dean mocked, "Don't like what you see? Well because of you this is what I'm gonna become; a cold, evil, destructive demon. And I'm gonna come after you first, and that little fuck toy of yours. Maybe I'll have my fun with him first. I mean it wouldn't be the first time he had someone force him, would it?" Sam jumped up, fear and anger growing in him._

_"Dean…" he tried, but tears choked him up. Dean just got up and walked toward him, waving his hand and just like that the yellow eyes demon, Mary, Jesse, and Jess all appeared. They all had those black eyes, except for Jesse, and even he looked mad as hell. Yellow eyes disappeared and popped up behind him, whispering in Sam's ear._

_"Sammy boy, it's a fine mess you made, huh?" the demon mocked. "First you get Dean killed because you screwed up, and now you're fucking a 17 year old kid against his will." He then turned his attention to Jesse. "What do you think about that kiddo?"_

_Jesse walked up to Sam, a malicious grin on his face. "You know what?" he stated, "I actually kinda hate you Sammy boy. Things were fine with us first until you fucked me. You didn't even take the time to do it right, you just let me bleed all over the bed while you fell asleep." Suddenly his tone got darker, angrier. "Didn't you think about what I did after you passed out? Huh?! DID YOU?! I'll bet you didn't, you were just glowing over what a good fuck I was, weren't you?"_

_Tears were going down Sam's face. "Jesse… please."_

_"Please what?" the teen shot back, "Please don't make you realize what a sadistic, teen fucking rapist you are?! Sorry Sam, can't do that. Everyone needs their punishment, and you're no exception. But I guess I should tell you what I did after you fell asleep, it was my point after all. See, while you were off in la-la land, I was thinking of ways to kill myself, just so I wouldn't have to be hurt again, just so I wouldn't have to feel you cock violate me again. But then you had to roll over and wrap around me. You started kissing my neck too, and that was when the waterworks started. I just couldn't stop crying, and all you did was mutter how beautiful I was and how much you wanted to fuck me and make me feel good. Well sorry to burst your bubble Sam but it was a literal fucking hell! And what was worse was when you looked at me before you came in me, like I was just some piece of ass for you to fuck when you felt like it. Do you know what that did to me Sam?" _

_Sam couldn't take much more of this. Out of every nightmare he'd had in the last few months none were as bad as this; none as real. He tried closing his eyes but they were forced open, and Jesse was staring him in the eye, the other figures standing close and holding him in place._

_"Well Sam, it fucking shattered me," the teen finished. "I wanted to die. And when you pinned me up tonight, oh that was just the cherry on top, pun intended. I felt that same fear again tonight. It was just like being raped again, seeing that anger and ferocity in your eyes. Maybe you should just go to my room and fuck me again now. Who knows, maybe I won't bleed all over the fucking sheets this time?! Do you wanna do that Sam? Huh?! DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME AGAIN?!"_

_---_

Sam's eyes shot open as he awoke from his nightmare. Tears were already streaming down his face and he was sobbing uncontrollably. He looked up though when his door opened and Jesse's figure walked in, concern in his eyes.

"Sam?" he asked quietly, "you ok?"

"I'm so sorry!" Sam managed between sobs, and when he noticed Jesse was walking over to the bed he curled into a fetal position. Soon he saw the teen sit on the bed and wrap his arms around him, rubbing up and down in a comforting motion. "Jesse I'm so sorry," he repeated, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear! I just… I just need someone…" tears were still rolling down his face, and he was still sobbing, but something about the teens arms around him helped calm him down a bit. But why did Jesse want to be anywhere near him after what Sam did? "Jesse why are you still here?" he asked.

"Because," the younger man replied, "I care about you Sam, you're one of my only friends, and I'm not about to leave you, no matter what you do to me."

"But Jess, I raped you!" Sam almost yelled, "I pinned you down and I fucked you against your will. I made you wanna kill yourself!"

Jesse's eyes shot open. "Sam," he asked urgently, "Who told you that?"

"the dream you told me a few minutes ago… he said that I made you feel like you didn't deserve to live, and that I only thought of you as a good fuck. But Jesse I swear, you mean so much more to me."

"I know Sam," Jesse said calmly, "I know. Now, I'm gonna stay out here with you for the night so you don't have any nightmares." Sam felt him lean down and soon soft lips were pressed against his own for only a second. "Good night Sam," he heard, and then he felt Jesse shift into a sleeping position. Sam moved, and wrapped his arms around the younger man, and at first he thought of pulling away, but Jesse's hand moved over his, holding him in place. He soon fell asleep, and for the rest of the night he didn't have a nightmare.

---

**Author's Note:** Ok, first off, I am so sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long. It's actually very stressing trying to deal with a shitty computer, 12th grade, and trying to find time for two fanfics. But everything's settling down now, so I should have more time to write. I'm actually thinking of putting Wedding bells on an extended break so I have time to work on this story. That way I can finalize my ideas for it, and when I return I'll be able to fly through it. Plus that'll mean more focus for this story!!!

Anyway, for the glorious return I figured something heavy would be appropriate. You know, starting off with a bang and what not. Honestly this chapter kind of put me in a sort of emo-mood, so you can imagine I'm glad I finished it. And what's going on with Lilith? Was she really testing them or is she just weak? What about Sam's dream? How did the dream Jesse know how the real one felt, or was it just Sam's imagination being smart? Who knows? And what happens next? Will Ruby be involved? Who knows, you'll just have to keep checking in and find out! Reviews are loved, they're how I know if I'm doing a good job or not. Plus I love to hear what you think of the chapter and where I'm going with the story. Anyway, it's getting kinda late and I want to relax for a while, so bye until next time!

**Jae W **


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